So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
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