Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
