Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
