plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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