My brain says no but my pants say off.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
