I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
