Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
