Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
she looked like the before picture.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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