i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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