My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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