I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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