The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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