Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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