I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
