you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
