idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
