First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
