I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
