I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
