Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
