sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Randomize
