He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
