What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
