shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
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