Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
