i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Randomize
