its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
