margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Randomize
