I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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