I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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