Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
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