so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
