puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
