sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
