Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Randomize
