Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
