it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
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