I wannas sexs uuuuu
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
