OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
