My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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