She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Randomize
