I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Still dying that you shit outside
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
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