i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Randomize
