How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
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