remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
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