There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Randomize
