Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
