i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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