i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Randomize
