Heybabeimwearingurpanties
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
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