Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
